My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
