why didn't you poke me back
id be glad to
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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