mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
