the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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