She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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