I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
