My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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