shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
