apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
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