You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
