This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
