I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
