you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
