u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Randomize
