He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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