The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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