You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
