No, drunk sperm still make babies.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
