Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
