Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
