I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Randomize
