Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Randomize
