I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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