Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
