I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
