Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
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