I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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