holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
pray to the hookup gods
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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