He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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