I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
