U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
