But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
