Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Randomize
