Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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