i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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