i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
