Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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