so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
