yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
