Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
