Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
