The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Randomize
