I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
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