i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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