How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
