I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
