Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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