If that was your dad, he is hot
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
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