Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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