I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
