Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
