Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
