Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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