I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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