found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
