I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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