i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
My vagina just clenched in fear
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
