They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
