I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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