Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
The uberlube is also flammable
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Randomize
