you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
