I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
