I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
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