how can u be prego again
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Randomize
